Friday, June 29, 2012

Let's Talk Friday: Heartbreaks

Let's Talk Friday is a discussion post where I find a topic to discuss and talk about my opinions on the subject. I am in no way an expert, so please, take this with a grain of salt as they say. Don't hesitate to voice your opinion (or advice) in the comments and let's start the discussion!

This week, I thought I would talk about heartbreaks and how I dealt with them. I found the idea from Elle and Blair's website. Click here to check their blog post on it.

Fortunately, I've only had my heart broken once. Yes, that means I've only had one boyfriend in my lifetime. I had three stages of coping with the breakup: Hope, Anger, Acceptance.

      Given that it was my first and only breakup, I had no idea how to deal with it. I tried to talk to the other person and try to stay friends - basically tried to make sure that the connection was not completely cut off. This only caused me so much pain and I shed buckets of tears to the point of exhaustion. I cried myself to sleep, in the shower, in the car, at work, etc. I was a mess.

      After a couple months, the other person decided to move on, and as I call it, got himself a rebound girl. (Whodathunkit - I was a rebound myself but didn't know it at the time). That was the time when I started telling myself that I was angry. I wasn't necessarily angry to the point that I wished him harm. In fact, it was the opposite. I made fun of him and his new fling, but I found that I would still defend his honor when someone else would say bad things about him. It was a complicated thing in my head. Anyway, I stayed "angry" for a while, which led me to my last stage.

      You know the saying "fake it til you make it"? I guess that's what I did when I kept telling myself I was angry when really, it was a simple mechanism for me to forget. As time went on, the memories started to blur, and the pain started to subside. There's also another saying "out of sight, out of mind." I stopped "stalking" the person on Facebook and it really helped with the coping process.

My advice for those with a broken heart:
      Find something you enjoy doing and concentrate on it. At one point, I felt so low that I thought my life was over. It wasn't until I saw Blair Fowler post a video about the House of Night series. I started reading the series and fell in love with reading. Bottom line, books and reading got me through the days, and now I'm quite content. If I hadn't found my way to a good book, I probably would still be bitter right now. Thank God for books! :)
      I also found "pink therapy." It is the kind of therapy where I go to a store and look at pretty things, preferably pink, and I would be happy. It could also mean going to a bookstore, and the mere touch of the books in my hands make me happy. After that first heartbreak, I learned to be happy about the smallest things and appreciate them.

So tell me, have you had your heart broken? How did you cope with it?

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