Venting

Sometimes you try to fix things, you try to makes amends for other people's mistakes and faults. You take over the responsibility, you try to be the mature one, you push to keep everyone together. And yet it's still not enough. None of your efforts are recognized, acknowledged, appreciated. All you get is a snarl, a name-call. You continue to voice out your opinion, your pain, your heartaches, hoping they would one day open their eyes to the reality of the situation. And yet, here you are, still hoping, forever hoping. Will it ever change? Will it ever get better? Or will things end without reconciliation?

There are times you cry yourself to sleep thinking of all the heartaches from when you were a child until the present. All the tears you've shed for the past year, all the prayers you've prayed to God hoping He would give you some sign to help you figure things out. But what if you get tired? What if there's only so much you can do until you start breaking apart? And they don't even care...

Would you continue trying even if it kills you? And what about them? They don't appreciate you. You pretend to be tough around them, pretend you're cold and heartless. But deep inside, you're breaking down, you're not that strong. There's a limit to your strength. What if one day it all runs out? What then? When things are completely broken into a pulverized state, is there a chance to put it back together? Can it be saved?